Tuesday, October 21st, 2014...9:19 pm

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I’ve been staring at this blank screen for too long. I’ve flipped the pages of my worn and marked Mrs. Dalloway book for inspiration, scrolled through my photos to see what story I’ve lived that I haven’t yet written. I type and then I delete and the screen is blank again.

I’m not sure what my story is tonight.

But I know I feel words wanting to boil out, feel the weight of having taken more than a week away from this task that sets my mind at ease.

So I’m typing.

Miles has a fever. He woke up from his nap yesterday warm and I left early to go and pick him up. I walked into his class and he was milling about but as soon as he saw me he slumped his shoulders, lowered his eyebrows and declared, “I’m sick.”

But I’m not sure if he is. He’s happy. He’s running around pretending to put out fires with his flashlight as he wears his plastic “fighter-fighter” helmet around the house. He’s running outside in his cowboy boots and his too small cowboy hat, climbing to the top of the play fort before coming in and asking for milk with a special straw.

He doesn’t seem sick.

Except when every so often he’ll hold his head and tell me it hurts. He’ll feel just a touch warm and he’ll rest for just a second before he gets his energy back. He’s the kind of sick that made me cancel his doctor appointment I had made early in the day because I could only see a doctor looking at my like I was an insane mom to take such a happy kid to the doctor and declare him sick.

I cancelled the appointment and then the fever came back.

That always happens, doesn’t it?

He wished today that he could see inside his head, that his eyes looked inwards occasionally instead of out.He said he might see oceans if his eyes looked inside his head.

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Linking up with Heather for Just Write.

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1 Comment

  • I know this feeling all too well in front of the blank page. And the doctor’s appointments you make because something looks like it needs attention and then doesn’t. Glad I found your blog! Here from Just Write.

    Hope the fever takes its leave soon. We just got through our first few colds from the school year — crossing fingers that we get a break (or at least nothing worse than what we’ve seen so far) …
    C. Troubadour recently posted…Rude awakeningsMy Profile

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