Thursday, October 2nd, 2014...9:10 pm

True and Complete

Jump to Comments

“I want to take up this mantel so that their daughters, sisters and mothers can be free from prejudice but also so that their sons have permission to be vulnerable and human too, reclaim those parts of themselves they abandoned and in doing so be a more true and complete version of themselves.” —Emma Watson 

He looks straight at me and tells me he loves me. Ten minutes later, he stops what he’s doing to say it again. I’m ordering my dinner and as I speak to the man across the counter, Miles grabs my face between his hands and kisses me loudly. He smiles at me so big I laugh as I tell the man what kind of salsa I’d like in my burrito.

He holds my hand and more often than not still wants to be held. I carry him even though he’s three and he’s heavy because how can I not?

He tells me, as I’m putting on his night-time diaper, that he’s just a little boy. “I’m not a big boy,” he says. “I’m just a little boy. Growing.” We walk to his room so I can cover him up with his blankie. “I’m just a little boy who always loves his mom.”

He tells me how much he loves his sister, how much he misses her when she’s not around. He fights with her and calls her names but he mostly loves her. And she him.

He pushes Elmo around in the stroller and he covers him with a blanket and the other day I caught him reading Elmo a book in his room.

“Every afternoon, after lunch, he whispers to me that he loves me,” his teacher told me last week.

Of course he does, I think. That’s his favorite thing to say. Some days he says it to me so often I laugh at its frequency and marvel at his sincerity.

True and Complete

I’m a week late to the Emma Watson HeforShe party, but I am here now. I listened to her speech last week amidst many distractions of life but when I sat down to relisten and to prepare to read the transcript with my students today, my breath caught at the line quoted above. Because I have a daughter. Because I have a son. And what I want for both of them is to be their true and complete selves. Isn’t that what we all want for our kids?

But just like I find myself worrying more about Miles’ love of guns than I ever worried about Nora’s love of princesses, I find myself wondering more and more often how long he will be this sweet love-declaring boy. How long will he say I love you out loud to me? How long will he hold my hand? Those things will ebb and flow as a normal part of growing up, I know, but I also worry about his ability to hold fast to his tenderness in a different way than I worried about her growing out of holding my hand.

Superheroes and dragons, swords and things that shoot – those are his favorite things to play with still. He is the good guy fighting the bad guys. Always. He sets up battles – Batman v. the dinosaurs, himself v. the invisible enemy. He pretend chops and pretend shoots and pretend kicks and then he comes right back to me and hugs me so tight it almost hurts.

He runs around on the playground with his friends, pretending that they have fire power and super fast running power. He pumps his arms as fast as he can so that he looks like the flash. He sees me at the gate to pick him up and he runs to me so quickly he almost knocks me over. He hugs his friends goodbye too. He’s the class hugger. And I want him to be like that forever and always.

Himself. True and complete.

True and Complete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Be Sociable, Share!

1 Comment

  • Once when I was in a church’s “cry room” with my 2 year old son, a mom with 4!!!! young boys told me, “Boys are best,” as she smiled and added, “They always love their mommas!”

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge

  • Follow Me!

  • Subscribe via Email

    Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • Follow on Bloglovin
  • The Past…

  • Categories